A lot of friends regularly consult me about similar issues, mainly related to biased relationships with their boss, their brother, their partner… whatever they are..
That’s the reason why I decided to write that post.
All these situations I hear about, all of them, have a common starting point : a lack of communication.
What’s communication about ?
My opinion is that’s it starts by a true communication with your own self.
Be true with yourself first !
After a major change in my lifetime, a year ago, I realized how important it was to me to speak my truth whatever the circumstances, especially because I have serious doubts concerning my own life expectancy for some reasons.
Since then, I’ve gradually stepped up towards a new way of thinking which could be summarized in a few words :
What if the next couple of months were the last of my entire life ? How would I interact with my environment now if these weeks were my very last in this lifetime ?
In this perspective, everything becomes a lot more clear and a lot more simple! You stop lying to yourself. And instead of that, start to open a new path inside you. It also develops a big sense of humor when dealing with situations. Nobody’s perfect, it’s simply about accepting the « dark side of the force ».
It may not suit everyone that you speak your truth, because it’s easier to hear what you wanna hear. Yet, it is really useful for the one who accepts to make that effort.
After a little of bit of practise, I’ve been able to measure the impact of the whole process.
And some people I would have expected to react badly to such a naked truth. (Truth is not especially glamorous, unfortunately !) actually could not do anything but recognize this sincerity and reply the most sincerely themselves.
No one can hide in front of honesty.
There are many side effects in that process, because it’s participative.
As soon as one link to the chain starts to mask down, it automatically provokes consequences in the rest of the chain. If not visible now, they’ll come out very soon.
We might sometimes fear to reveal our true feelings about a situation but I highly encourage every one (including me) to say what they feel in the instant : I feel confused, I feel humiliated, I’m afraid. And so what? Feelings are one of the main issues we have to deal with daily right ? Why not start to face them properly and accept we’re not the image we have in mind, but simply a human being with its own richness and complexity.
If someone tells you what they really think about a situation, you should only respect their humility, accept that you wont take anything personally, and probably solve a situation. What else ?
What if this day was the last one ? I assume this can sound a bit morbid or doom mongering. But this is how it works in the end, man ! Whatever we wanna face it or not ! The end of the trail is what expects us. It all depends on how we wanna travel our life !
But I can say it definitely feels lighter to release unuseful luggage along the way !
Please react, I’ll be glad to read your comments !
And until then, enjoy the ride !